I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
