i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
