the condom got lost in my hair
tell your sister to shave her snatch
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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