So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
