I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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