i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
