I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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