How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
