the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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