i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
