we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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