We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
