I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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