you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
