how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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