Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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