When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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