Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
