He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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