I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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