Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
