I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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