I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
