He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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