Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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