thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
