Where is the hickey?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
