I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
