we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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