I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
