I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
