I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
