Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I stole a fireplace last night.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize