Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
