Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
