His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
