If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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