I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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