This is not my ceiling
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize