last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Too much gin, very little bucket
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
