I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
