She's JV to your varsity
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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