wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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