how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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