Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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