While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
