I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's rum buckets o'clock
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
