My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize