I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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