Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Randomize
