Got a toothbrush?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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