Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Mom said you looked used
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize