if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
