some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
