I don't think brook has ever known best
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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