I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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