Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
