Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
