I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize