bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize