wakey wakey hands off snakey
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
