I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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