singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
