12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
