I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
