Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
