everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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