My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
