your room smells of hookers.
And success
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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