there were more penises there than on chat roulette
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
