it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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