It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
