As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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