in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
