Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
