Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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