I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
