you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
