Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
