Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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