do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
is it fun? or sober?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
